A Day In The Life Of An Assistant Manager.

You can tell how old this piece is from the eleventh last diary entry.

A Day In The Life Of An Assistant Manager.

06:00   Wake up – Hope it’s Sunday. Realise it’s Monday.
07:00   Wash & shave. Think about slitting throat, but decide things must be better this                week.
07:30   Dress and work out staff position over breakfast. Take two indigestion tablets.
07:45   Leave for work.
08:40   Arrive at bank. Messenger off with backstrain again.
08:45   Expect first telephone call. Bad case of nerves. Hands shake.
08:46   First telephone call.
08:55   Eighth telephone call. Eight sick.
09:00   Explain to supervisor how to run machine room on her own.
09:05   Telephone Chief Office (Personnel Dept.) to explain why supervisor has                          resigned.
09:20   Answer third telephone call requesting relief.
09:30   Chief Office (Personnel Dept.) request two relief tellers.
09:40   Write to Chief Office (Personnel Dept.) apologising for language used.
10:00   Persuade Foreign clerk to make some tea.
10:10   Explain to customer why Foreign Section is closed.
10:15   Give own tea to customer to placate him.
10:16   Customer closes account.
10:30   Check Holiday List.
11:00   Politely advise tellers they must alter their holiday plans.
11:05   Tellers make several unpleasant (and quite frankly, humanly impossible)                          suggestions.
11:30   Write to Chief Office (Personnel Dept.) for relief in July. Letter smudged with                    tears.
12:00   Teller spots forgery in Clearing. Congratulate her.
12:10   Seven other forgeries come to light. Reprimand tellers.
12:45   Junior wants to go home with bad headache. Refuse request. Give him three                  aspirins, and take three myself.
13:00   Lunch.
13:01   Lunch finished. Phone wife regarding quality of sandwiches. Big mistake.
13:40   Staff refers. Eight staff accounts overdrawn, including own. No action taken.
14:00   Terminal breaks down.
14:05   Terminal machinist breaks down.
14:10   Fix machine with sellotape. Promise machinist upgrading. She recovers.                          Congratulate self on diplomacy.
14:15   Statement clerk threatens to resign. In Bank three days longer than machinist.                Also wants special grade.
14:20   Write to Chief Office (Personnel Dept.) regards upgrading Machinist and                          Statement clerk.
14:30   Banking Hall clock stolen. Look for appropriate letter to Chief Office.
14.32   Counter enquiry from prospective new entrant.
14:35   Second Teller has hysterics. Endeavour to pacify.
14:37   Prospective new entrant leaves. Not exactly surprised.
15:00   Banking Hall chair has also been stolen. Another letter to Chief Office.
15:30   Branch closes. Manager goes home. Dream of that happy day.
16:00   Teller £500 short. Check till. Still short.
16:20   Inspector arrives. Checks till and finds £500 error.
16:25   Inspector leaves. Reprimand teller.
16:45   Help trace remittance difference.
17:30   Trace difference. Machine error. Resolve not to fix machine again.
17:50   Leave to catch train.
18:00   Return to lock Branch.
21:00   Can’t remember last three hours. Doctor later diagnosed a blackout.
22:00   Go to bed. Can’t sleep.
02:30   Finally fall asleep. Nightmare. Subject? BANK.

_______________